At The Beginning...

I will be 24 years old in a week and a couple of days. Not young but why do I feel like a newborn? I have done many things wrong, even immoral and last week I wrote someone a letter to apologize. He is someone so good that he didn't deserve to be hurt by me. Someone I shouldn't have left. At the time I was with him I wanted him to be the one although I knew deep down that he isn't. He gave me the most precious gift I've ever received - my daughter. He was my husband and he treated me like a queen. Why this first blog entry turned out to be about him, I'm not certain. I'm just typing what I feel like and I guess finally apologizing to him renewed me. When I get another year older next week, I will proclaim that the beginning of my new life. A life of love and learning with my daughter. I am fortunate to have the pleasure of caring for someone so intelligent, kind and beautiful who loves me inspite of my shortcomings as a mother. Who makes me laugh hysterically. Who embraces me when I'm lonely. I have always felt incomplete but with my decision to a fresh start came the realization that I have been complete for almost five years but was just asinine to not have known it all that time. To everyone I have loved, hurt and lost, I apologize profusely. To those who stuck by me I am grateful. To all I love and will love, I look forward to days of joy and sorrow, health and pain, adoration and loathe, a life worth living with all of you. Advanced happy birthday to myself and a toast for the many adventures to come.